In my last blog, I introduced you to the overall framework I follow to designing and living an unapologetic lifestyle and career. In this week's video, we will be talking about personal return on investment (personal ROI). Where do you best put your energy, time and resources in a way that works for you, across the four key areas of your life, as outlined below?;
Before you go investing all your energy into a new job, career or project, it's a really good idea to 'prime the canvas' first!
Basically that means getting clear on what's going great in your world and what maybe needs a bit of attention. There is no point in getting all excited about your new business venture when your relationship is traumatising you, you've had a bust up with your bestie, or you can't shake an energy zapping virus!
Please download the tolerations matrix, for a comprehensive list of questions that will give you some insight into this.
Let's go into each of these in a bit more detail;
(1) Wellness and faith - I think this comes down to one thing; how energised are you feeling? If you are feeling bloated, clogged up or just plain depressed, then energy isn't something that is going to come easy to you! Ask yourself questions about your eating, your movement, where you place your thoughts (eg anxiety or worry) and your levels of trust. I must confess I am no longer doing my overly positive thinking lark about life being fine and dandy all the time. I do believe that just sitting with whatever emotion I am embedded in at the time, and trusting that I will get through it, is an easier way to live.
Faith is an emotional word too. I like to re-frame it as being able to trust that things are, in a way, all perfect, even that maybe I might have attracted them at some level. I think your faith is whatever it is that helps you make meaning out of your place in the world! For some it's manifestation, for some it's Christianity, maybe for some it's something completely different. Whatever works for you!!
(2) Relationships and community - Interestingly, I believe this is all about energy too. Do your loved ones energise or drain you? Sadly I know of a bunch of people who are in relationships that absolutely zap them of energy (I also know some really great examples of relationships too, as I am sure you do too). So often they stay in them because they think they have no choice, but they do! Firstly they might consider what they can do about it to make it better, because staying miserable isn't really an option. Maybe it's an opportunity to change the form of their relationship eg. move from being a married couple to co-habitating and co-parenting together. That's what Geoff and I are doing and so far 15 months into it, it's working for both of us! Getting support from a therapist or coach can do wonders, which is what we did, and we are both so much happier. I take marriage vows very seriously, and am not suggesting that it's a decision you want to make lightly, but in your heart of hearts, I think you will know what works for you.
The people we have around us, outside our family also have the ability to fuel or drain us. I now only choose to be around people who don't judge, criticise or put me down. Often we seem to tolerate toxic people in our lives, when actually we don't need to! Recently I came to a realisation that there are people who are literally here for a reason, season or lifetime. Who knows who fits into which category, I have had intense friendships with wonderful men and women that have not lasted long, but have made a very big impact on my life. Just keep asking the question to yourself about how you feel around them!
(3) Career and purpose - We will go into this in more detail in the next video, but the key thing to ask yourself is how is your career helping or hindering who you are as a person? If you are a grumpy tired old dad when you get home from your stressful job, is it really worth the money they are paying you? Simplistic I know, and I am not condoning being a victim (eg blaming your general miserableness on your job!) but again, so many people are hating their roles, and hanging in there because they either feel they should, or don't think they could get anything else. Aargggghhh!!!
(4) Finance and abundance- One thing that really gets to me is how undervalued some amazing individuals are, particularly in the areas of wellness and coaching. There are some extraordinary people who have invested so much of themselves into their craft, and can't seem to make a decent living. I do not claim to know the answers to this, I just think it's worth asking yourself some questions around how your financial picture looks as a whole. For example, are you charging enough for your services? Are you charging too much? Do you have a long term savings plan? Do you think your future earning potential is high or low? Getting a reality check on your finances is liberating. I also am starting to question the whole idea of scarcity mindset and that we somehow are responsible for the financial results we produce by how much we value ourselves. Sure I think there are some instances of that, but I also see very rich people with a scarcity mindset and struggling people with high self worth! As usual, I suggest if it works for you adopt this belief, if it doesn't, scrap it! No point beating yourself up and blaming yourself for your lack of abundance, sometimes I truly believe it comes down to plain old luck!
Again, feel free to download the tolerations matrix and complete in your own time.
I have sent this out before, but I am constantly getting such positive feedback from people who have downloaded and completed it, so I thought I would send it again. I have used this for a number of years now with my clients, and the insight they generally get from completing it is priceless. If you are serious about living a life of freedom, and finding a job, business or project that is unapologetically you, then this is a great place to make sure you have primed your canvas as a brilliant starting point! I think dogma is alive and well in all four areas, and that you don't have to look far to find someone who claims to have the answer to your challenges. Just go where the energy is and ask yourself the questions before asking anyone else!!
